Is sex before marriage a sin? The bible calls sex before marriage fornication. Fornication is considered a sin according to both the Old and New Testaments (Galatians 5:19-23, 1 Corinthians 5:1, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and 1 Corinthians 7:1-2). However, we have confidence before God that He will forgive us for our sins when we believe in the saving power of Jesus and are indwelt with the Holy Spirit. If you have sinned this way in the past, you can ask forgiveness then plan on not doing it anymore. When the Holy Spirit convicts us that something is wrong we need to listen and with a repentant heart come to God and ask forgiveness.
God is Forgiving. Don’t Abuse His Grace
God’s grace covers our sins but this doesn’t mean that we should abuse His mercy and grace by continuing in a sinful behavior that we know is wrong. Sex is one of those things that is easy to avoid if you are careful. In the context of marriage it is good but outside of marriage it is either considered adultery or fornication — adultery if you’re cheating and fornication if you’re unmarried.
How to Avoid Fornication
If you want to know how to avoid sex when you are married, there are several strategies. For one, if you are in a dating relationship with the opposite sex, avoid situations where you will be alone together. Don’t sleep in the same bed or live in the same house. If you go out late at night to a party or a bar don’t drink. In fact, avoid alcohol altogether if you can because alcohol lowers your inhibitions and you will be more likely to give in to pressure to have sex when you drink it.
Set Boundaries Immediately
Sometimes you may find that one person in the relationship is pushing sex on you. Your heart seems to convict you not to have sex but his or her heart feels no such convictions. If you are with someone who is trying to get you into bed before marriage you should tell him or her that it is against your values and God’s law. If they can’t respect your "no" you should be sure to get out of that relationship fast. People that don’t listen when you say no aren’t respecting your personal boundaries. Even if you are in the moment, the feeling is mutual but your heart says "stop" you need to listen to your heart because that is the Holy Spirit telling you what to do.
About Sex
Sex can be a wonderful thing for a married couple. It brings people closer, shows affection for one another and can even bring children into your family. Outside of marriage, sex can be very destructive. Sometimes after a dating couple begins a sexual relationship since there is no commitment involved they lose respect for one another. If both of you are professing and born again Christians you can expect that you will be grieving the Holy Spirit and putting a strain on a relationship that need not be there. Having sex before marriage can introduce shame and guilt into your life that wasn’t present before the sex started.
Shaky Ground
If you happen to break up with the person you’ve been sleeping with you have just given yourself to someone that has no long-term interest in you. They may be using you without ever planning to stay with you. As a woman, if you happen to get pregnant, there will be no certainty that your sex partner has any interest in helping you raise the child. They may not even pay child support and you could be a single mother trying to make it on your income alone.
My Advice
My best advice is to stay away from sex until you get married. If you honor God with your body and commitments He will bless your relationship and eventual marriage. If you exclude God from your relationship by acting in disobedience, you may as well expect to have problems and heartache.
